New Plan

Unfortunately, with a lot of things going on that were out of our control, my family has fallen off the wagon and it has taken a while to get back on. Starting tomorrow (August 1! Wow!), I will be keeping a very detailed account of where every penny goes. We are on a budget lockdown (just the words make me feel a little crazy) and the goal is to spend $300 or less on groceries this month. That includes 2 bins of produce every 2 weeks from Rebecca's produce group ($100 a month) and any staples we run out of (things like tofu, Earth Balance, bread, yogurt, etc.). I am going to try once again to avoid grocery stores at all costs. I think that was one of my pitfalls this time. It's too darn tempting! We are going to go back to basics and mostly buy dry beans, grains, fresh produce and our short list of staples. There are a few things that I can't give up right now but at least they are fairly healthy (good vegan chocolate and green tea). I don't consume massive amounts of either, so it should be affordable enough to buy. They will definitely be the first things to go if I start to go over the budget.

I literally have a binder and each day will have a page (or half-page to save paper since there shouldn't be a ton of stuff on the pages!) to write down every little nickel we spend. I have gotten to the point where I honestly don't know where a lot of our money goes since it's a few dollars here and a few dollars there. I have to keep better track of where it all goes or we're going to continue to have money problems. It's just so easy to get sucked into the convenience and fun of checking out all things vegan in Portland. It's such a novel thing to go to a vegan bakery or a vegan restaurant that I have been very neglectful of money in that respect.

Well, here is where things will change for good. I have realized that I must be very detailed and structured with how I manage our budget. If I don't stay on track with where our money goes, I will spend without thinking about it (until the end of the month when we have to scrape up rent money! then I think about it A LOT but I still don't know where they money went).

Another on-going goal we have is to reduce our total amount of "stuff" sitting around in the garage and closets. We have way too much baggage, so to speak, and I truly think it clutters my mind to know that it's just sitting there. All that junk is sitting in boxes, waiting to be sorted and moved around. It's actually kind of nice to know that we're down to the last few boxes of stuff in the garage. Next we get to work on the various closets, ugh! This is what happens when you don't have time to properly sort your stuff before you move and it gets stuffed in random boxes. Oh and then you don't immediately unpack when you get to your new place. Trust me, don't try to do that!

And reality sets in

Wow, has it really been almost a month since my last post? Time sure flies! Part of the reason for my absence is related to a chronic condition I have, called Bertolotti's syndrome. You see, I have had back pain for as long as I can remember (literally, elementary school). I never realized that there was a real reason for it! About a year ago, a chiropractor diagnosed me with degenerative disc disease. I accepted that and went about my business since my dad has it as well and it can be genetic. But since moving to Portland 8 months ago, my back has gotten worse and worse. It never stops hurting but the pain level just keeps going up. I refuse to take opiates or any kind of narcotics (long story), so I decided to go to a new chiropractor, thinking the disc degeneration was just getting worse. She, thankfully, did not believe that it was just disc degeneration and finally gave me some answers. I got some excellent x-rays done (my previous ones were crappy) and found out several interesting things. Not only do I have Bertolotti's syndrome (basically, some bones are attached where they shouldn't be; it happened in utero) but I also have one slightly shorter leg, extra ribs, osteopenia and, yes, degeneration. It all makes sense now. Everything in there is rotating around, trying to compensate for the differences. Now that Lily is around 30 pounds, carrying her around will kill my back faster than anything. This is also why it has gotten worse in recent years; weight changes are really detrimental!

So, where does this tie into green living, frugal living or anything of the sort? Well, it definitely ties in and in a big way. I have fallen off the bandwagon for the no-grocery-store thing, plus a lot of other things. I am really struggling right now because the pain is getting worse, I am feeling worse emotionally and that just messes everything up. I feel like I am having a hard time keeping it all together. Living 2500 miles away from any family makes it 2500 times harder. I am not cooking much at all, which means I have started buying more processed stuff again. It's vegan, organic and somewhat healthy but it's crazy expensive! I just can't even entertain the thought of cooking all our meals in a day. I stopped doing our produce delivery for several reasons: I wasn't happy with it, a friend started a better produce set-up and, frankly (embarrassingly), things were going to waste. I just don't know what to do anymore. I MUST get a job, for several very important reasons (one of which is to send Lily to preschool) but, alas, I have applied for at least 50 jobs with no luck. My problem now is that it must not be a 100% standing job, so that cuts out most jobs I could do (cashier, barista, waitress, etc.). Most of the jobs I'd be able to actually do wouldn't hire me because I don't have a degree and I don't have years of experience (receptionist, admin assistant, etc.).
So, there we have it. The most depressing post I will likely ever make. I'm trying to keep my head above water but just dealing with the pain (plus depression and anxiety that started in childhood) just puts me at my limit most days. There, I said it. Yep, I suffer from depression and anxiety and chronic pain. I have trouble simply making it through the week. I am just now getting insurance after 8 months so hopefully I can do more to fix myself.

Microwave-less

After much thought and researching, I have finally done what I've been putting off for a long time. We got rid of our microwave. Granted, it's sitting in the garage but at least it won't be used anymore. I always knew microwaves weren't the best thing to use for heating our FOOD but I never knew the real details. After perusing the intrawebz (haha) for a while tonight, I bit the bullet and just got rid of it altogether. Maybe this will make up for falling off the wagon earlier this week. At least I haven't bought more paper towels!

I have a really pressing idea I need to write about soon but I have to find the time to get it organized and typed. It is all about having (more) kids and raising kids in a time of uncertainty. More to come, more to come.

Thoughts

Thinking about my last post, I realized that we won't be able to be TOTALLY self-sustainable. I guess the goal is to do as much as we can ourselves and then the rest of the stuff, maybe ordering it in bulk once or twice a year. We want to be as self-sustaining as possible, especially with things like paying for electricity and water!

Plans and Toxins

Our goal in 5-7 years is to be totally self-sustainable. Yep, you read that right. We are planning to build our own house out of cob and avoid all potentially harmful things. All the structures inside the house will be built in to further reduce what we have to buy and the potential for that stuff to be toxic. No carpet, no paint (unless we find a good non-toxic one) and no chemicals of any kind. We want to have an organic garden big enough to where we don't have to buy any produce from anyone. Nate has talked of growing our own grain and making flour but I'm still hesitant about that one. We are planning to put as many green things as possible into the house--solar/wind power, rain collection/purification  and alternative heat sources. If we can, we want to be totally off the grid and not have to pay the big corporations for essential electricity and water. There is talk of animals but again, I'm not sure about that one. Since we're vegan, we wouldn't eat any of the eggs from chickens or drink the milk from cows. Perhaps we can sell them! Sometime soon we want to trade our car in for a more fuel-efficient, "greener" car. Of course, the plan is to keep our travel to a minimum when we build our house!

We know we definitely do not want to live in a conventional house any longer than we have to. The only sure way to avoid toxins is to build the house yourself, unfortunately. The house we live in now has carpet and paint and varnish and...all kinds of unnatural stuff! It makes me crazy to think about Lily sitting on the carpet, which is not only full of chemicals in and of itself BUT also the chemicals used to clean it after each renter. We recently did another plastic purge and got rid of almost all of Lily's plastic toys. It's so sad because she loves them but I love her more! She keeps finding the toys in the garage and want them, of course. I truly think I'm doing the right thing but why is it so hard?

If all else fails, our back-up plan is New Zealand (really!). We would already be living there if it weren't for my family, who can't afford to fly to NZ and would freak out if we moved there. If it came down to it though, I'd go to NZ in a heartbeat. I'd extend the offer to my parents to come with us but I doubt they'd come. I just hope that by the time we decide to go, we will still be able. The thought of no more driving or flying makes me a little anxious!

Progress

So, I ran out of paper towels a few days ago and I refuse to buy more. One of the biggest things I use them for is to microwave my Amy's Breakfast Burritos. I have been eating those for the past 2 years (!!) and they are so expensive (average price==$2.50 each). I am going to not only stop buying paper towels but those damn burritos too. I ran out of burritos around the same time I ran out of paper towels, so I didn't miss the paper towels too much. I tried to re-create the burritos but I failed. I will just have to learn to live without them. That will cut down our grocery bill by...gulp...SEVENTY-FIVE dollars or so a month! WOW. I cannot believe it costs that much just to eat one of those little burritos a day. Well, I am done with them. The next thing on my list is to stop buying and eating Thomas Everything Bagels. I hate bagels that are too dry (and ones that contain caraway seeds) and  the Thomas ones taste perfect BUT they have HFCS in them. That is the last product that I consume regularly that has HFCS in it. Anyone know of some not-too-dry everything bagels that are vegan and don't have caraway seeds? Once I find some, I will stop buying Thomas bagels altogether.

I am finding that I still need to go to the grocery store more than I'd like. For instance, we ran out of bread today. I had to run to the nearest store (Fred Meyer's) and get some bread, which cost $4! I got the same bread (Nature Bake) at their Thrift Store for...wait for it, wait for it...$2!!! I usually buy bread on sale and freeze it, so I guess I will buy up a ton at the thrift store and freeze it all. I made bread the other day but it was a huge hassle AND it didn't come out right, so I don't know when/if that will ever happen again. I run out of Earth Balance pretty regularly too, so that's another expensive thing I will need to go to the grocery store for. Oh and in going to the store, I also bought some soy crisp chip thingies because Lily and I were both hungry. Sheeeesh, I am the worst impulse shopper ever. Oh well, it could have been worse. I actually went into the store, picked out the bread and crisps and went to stand in line. No browsing or wandering. That's BIG for me!

Things I still have to figure out how to buy without going to the grocery store:

• Lindt Chocolate (I know, I know--it's my last real vice!)
  
• Bread (will go to the thrift store monthly or every few months)
  
• Earth Balance (People's Co-Op)
  
• Tahini (Azure fell through; People's Co-Op)
  
• Peanut Butter (Azure fell through also; People's Co-Op)
  
• Bagels (Hopefully a different brand! Maybe People's Co-Op?)
  
• Rice (Maybe Azure will come through this time; otherwise, People's Co-Op)
  

Some of the things I have been counting on Azure for are not coming through (rice, tahini, peanut butter, etc.) so I am not sure where to go from here. I guess I will try to frequent People's Co-Op so that I know I won't be tempted with too many impulse purchases. Once I get my butt in gear and sew up our cloth wipes, I won't be buying much toilet paper either. That should save quite a bit of money! Not buying Pampers Pull-Ups and wipes will save a ton of money as well. It's a little more work having to wash more often (diapers, wipes, towels, coth napkins, etc.) but it's so worth it in the end. Not only am I saving money, I'm also reducing our trash to about half the normal amount! Woohoo!

Progression

Here is a list of things that have changed in the past 3 years. Some of them have taken a full 3 years to accomplish, some have only been in place for a few weeks and some are still a work in progress. Three years ago is pretty much when we had this awakening about how our lives were truly messed up and how typical Americans live very unhealthy lives. We decided that we did not want to be like that!

1. Veganism (off and on for 2 years, mostly on; on right now)
   
2. Fewer packaged products, especially fake meats and such (steady decrease in 3 years with a huge difference in the past 6 months)
   
3. No more plastic gadgets (in progress; improvement these last few months, with a plastic purge)
   
4. Cloth diapers/trainers and wipes (off and on since Lily was born; on right now and she's potty training too)
   
5. Family cloth (in progress, need to sew up the cloths! we're using what few cloths we do have, so TP usage is very reduced)
   
6. No more paper towels (in progress but we've reduced usage A LOT)
   
7. Eating more local stuff (in progress, making huge strides! Using Organics to You and will do a CSA soon)
   
8. No more grocery stores (making progress!)
   
9. Buying things in bulk (making lots of progress! Azure Standard)
   
10. Cooking from scratch at home more (making progress!)
    
11. Trying to buy things used first instead of new (in progress, been doing this for 3 years)
    
12. Not making impulse purchases (working on this, making progress--especially with the no grocery store thing)
    
13. Sticking to a very strict budget (in progress, having a hard time some weeks)
    
14. Reducing energy consumption (ongoing--turning off lights, unplugging things, turning the heat off when gone, etc.)
    
15. Making our cleaners (in progress but I won't buy any more pre-packaged stuff, aside from things like Dr. Bronner's, vinegar and baking soda!)
    
16. Making our personal care products (I will make my own when I run out of what I have now)
    
17. Reducing Lily's plastic toys (in progress; already done a lot but there's more to be done)
    
18. Avoiding high fructose corn syrup and trans fat (doing pretty well with this but there are slip-ups, plus my favorite bagels have HFCS in them! I'm trying to find a replacement but none are as good!)
    
19. Starting a worm bin (done! and now I have somewhere to put our food scraps)

I will add more things as I think of them!